How to Be a Vegan People Don't Want to Punch in the Mouth
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I have a confession to make: I'm a vegan. My best friends and family members know this, but beyond that close group, I do my best to avoid letting anyone know this slightly annoying fact about myself. "But Morgan," you might say, "there's nothing wrong with being vegan! It's your choice to live how you want, don't be embarassed about who you are." To explain my trepidation at being labelled a vegan...
I have another confession to make: I've been a vegan for around 10 years now, and I've never met a single vegan I liked. In fact, I've never met a single vegan I didn't detest. Sad, but true--vegans seem to be an ornery, pretentious, high-and-mighty, stuck-up, and rabid group of people on the whole. That's my experience with meeting vegans, at least. I've talked to friends about this and they all agree: vegans are no fun.
As such, I've found that I don't really want to be lumped in with a group of people who have a bad rap and for the most part, richly deserve it.
Now don't get me wrong, I have no qualms about my choice to become (and stay) a vegan. I just don't see any benefit from being labelled as one. Let's take a look at some pseudo-facts I just made up:
- Most vegans are annoying and self-righteous
- Most vegans think that their choice of a vegan lifestyle is the most important aspect of their lives
- People who aren't vegan don't spend all of their time talking about what they do or don't eat
Let's face it: what you do or don't eat is about as interesting to other people as what kind of deodorant or toothpaste you use. So why are vegans (and vegetarians) always blathering on about it like it's interesting? You don't hear omnivores going around extolling the virtues and explaining the minutiae of their diets, and there's a reason for it: it's frickin' boring!
So I guess you could describe me as an anti-vegan vegan. I wouldn't argue with that assessment. Don't forget though, there ARE good vegans out there. Chances are, like me they've learned to keep a low profile and not volunteer their vegan status willy-nilly.
This brings me to my point: How can someone be a vegan without being associated with the obnoxious stigma vegans(rightfully) share?
I've learned some rules/guidelines over the years, both from experience and from the writings of noted vegan musician Moby and the wonderful book "Becoming Vegan" by Brenda Davis and Vesanto Melina:
- If you make a personal lifestyle choice, whether it be veganism, vegitarianism, a specific religion, or a membership to the NRA, remember that it's a personal choice, not a declaration of war against anyone else who hasn't made the same choice.
- You are not better than anyone else on the planet because of veganism, your political affiliation, or any other reason. All people have the same value and deserve the same amount of respect.
- You haven't got some special insight into the human condition. Everyone creates their own path in life, and it's not for you or anyone else to judge it.
How NOT to Talk to Non-Vegans
So for those of you who are vegan and wondering how to approach those awkward social situations in which you are offered non-vegan food by an unsuspecting civilian, here's the solution:
If you're at a party or other event and someone asks you if you want a burger, steak, or hot dog, simply tell them 'No, thanks.' There is absolutely no need to go above and beyond the call of duty of full disclosure and volunteer the information that the reason you don't want their stinky festering pile of dead animal is because you're an almighty vegan and they should bow down to your moral superiority.
A lesson I learned early in life about how to lie artfully also applies to these types of scenarios: the more you add to your story, the less realistic it sounds. When your mom asks you where you were last night after curfew, just give her a surly "At Jimmy's house," and slink away with bad posture and an air of rebellious contempt. That intricate story you crafted about the sleepover and Jerry's dad working the nightshift now, so you had to get permission from his mom who was at the grocery store because they were out of milk is WAY more fishy sounding. Chances are she knows or at least suspects you were at Kim Nelson's party anyway, but at least do your best minimalist lying job so as not to insult her sense of propriety.
The same applies to someone offering you non-vegan fare. They don't need your life story, just a simple 'yes' or 'no.' In the off chance they press you to take a burger or ask you why you don't want any, there are a multitude of polite excuses you can use withouth revealing that you're a vegan:
- Nah, I'm not really hungry right now, but thanks.
- I'm on a diet right now, trying to lose a few extra pounds.
- I already ate before I came, thanks.
And some not-so-polite excuses if you hang out with riff-raff like my friends:
- Your cooking sucks dude, I wouldn't feed that to a starving junkie.
- Gotta save room for the beer, even though you bought domestic crap instead of a nice import or microbrew.
- Nah, I decided to become a vegan recently (Then pause for a second and snicker like only the biggest loser in the world would actually become a vegan).
For the record, I've used all of these excuses countless times(Yes, ALL of them) and never had a problem. At least never had a problem that wasn't caused by an overly-zealous friend or family member. Which leads me to...
TRAIN YOUR FRIENDS!!!
I can't even remember how many times I've been about to succesfully dodge an offer of meat with one of my above excuses when one of my friends or family members decided to "Help" me by shouting at the top of their lungs: "DUDE, he's a frickin' VEGAN man! Don't offer him meat!"
I had to learn the hard way to take each one of my friends and family members who are 'in the know' aside and have a little talk with them. I simply explained to them that although I appreciated their 'help,' I didn't really want to volunteer my vegan status unless absolutely necessary. They inevitably ask why.
If you find yourself in this scenario, simply tell them these 3 things:
- My veganism is MY veganism. If I want someone to know about it, I'll do it myself, thank you. I suggest you put this one politely, but firmly.
- Most people feel threatened and/or insulted when confronted with vegans/vegetarians and automatically assume that vegans think they are scum for eating meat. (Unfortunately, they are usually right about vegans when it comes to this.)
- It isn't necessary to tell everyone who offers me non-vegan food that I'm vegan; it always ends with them asking me why I'm vegan, and then I have to answer a bunch of annoying questions I've already answered around two hundred and ninety-nine billion gazillion times.
After you've trained all your confederates in crime, they'll surely stop outing you as a vegan and you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that your vegan status is safely behind lock and key.
In conclusion, just remember that being a vegan means many different things to many different people, and there is no RIGHT way to be a vegan. There are, though, many many WRONG ways to be a vegan. Please do your best to raise the credibility of vegans everywhere by thinking about and considering what I've written, even if you end up not following it to the letter(I wouldn't, and it's MY advice.) That way, hopefully someday we vegans will be able to shake off our negative stigma and become open vegans again. Even if that happens though, I think I'll still keep my veganism to myself. Most of the time I forget I'm a vegan anyway.
And all you non-vegans, please remember: If you run into a vegan who thinks they're better than everyone else, you officially have my permission to punch them in the mouth. I will testify in court on your behalf if/when you face assault charges that it was your civic duty to punch surly vegans in the mouth on behalf of 'good' vegans everywhere.
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Have you ever met a vegan you didn't want to punch in the mouth?
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Ha-ha, you're funny: how un-vegan of you.
I know exactly how you feel! I'm an anti-vegan vegan too!
I became fed up with this article round about, "All people have the same value and deserve the same amount of respect." What extraordinarily naïve nonsense. Some people are thoroughly nasty and worthy of very, very, very little respect.
Nice to know I'm not alone Felicity.
Miles: what we have here is a semantic problem. I was writing idealistically, and you were reading pragmatically. I was talking more about an ideal to work towards, rather than an actual literal way to go through life. Thanks for pointing it out though, you aren't the first to chafe at that sentence.
I am a vegan and I think you would like me! I'm a live and let live kind of person. The only people I throw a judgmental comment to are those who act all high and mighty and don't realize how twisted their logic is. For example, "Don't buy P&G products, they test on animals, yada, yada, yada!" meanwhile chomping down on a big mac! Then I simply point out, "You eat animals, what do you care!" And these are the types of people who piss me off the most because they are talking the talk but refuse to walk the walk! They are the ones who need a good slap upside the head! I do find anybody who pushes their views on to other people to be extremely obnoxious! I have not encountered many obnoxious vegans in a long time. I've been in the vegetarian category pretty much my whole life, and the only real obnoxious argumentative person I've encountered was a person who happily ate meat but had a niece who claimed to be a vegetarian but ate chicken. I worked with this woman and she knew I was a vegetarian, and one day at lunch she offered me some chicken. I politely said no thank you. She kept pushing it so I politely reminded her that I was a vegetarian and did not eat meat, including chicken! She became so obnoxiously impossible to even be near because her niece was a vegetarian and ate chicken and therefore I must eat chicken because her niece did! Really??? Like her niece was the queen of vegetarianism! My motto is don't tell me what to eat and I won't tell you what to eat! ;)
Why would you not want to tell people you're a vegan? There's a difference between being obnoxious and being honest. If people ask me a question I am happy to tell people that I'm a vegan and why. Most are intrigued and completely shocked at how animals are treated. I don't think you should push it on people but why hide it? It's who you are and if you can bring a little knowledge to people that may not know any better then....well, every little bit helps. Veganism is becoming more popular everyday and a vegan diet is being used to prevent and stop certain cancer growth, allergies, migraines, eliminate cholesterol and a ton of other health issues. Dairy is being linked to autism and more mothers every day are choosing to not give their children milk products. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It's not only saving the lives of innocent animals but it's improving your health. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Good for you for being a vegan for 10 years. That's an awesome accomplishment...be proud of it!
I don't quite get the dislike of other vegans bit but I can totally understand not wanting to tell people about it. As soon as non-veges find out they ask millions of dumb questions, ask you to justify your choice, tell you its not natural and then go around telling everyone how "holier than thou" you are because you weren't turned around by their nonsense!!!
So if you have any good tips on getting out of the vegan debate once you're outted I would love to hear them.
I've had limited sucess with turning the question back to them i.e. well why DO you eat meat?.... but I don't have a fool proof tactic.
@ Jos
I only dislike other vegans that are the 'holier than thou' type like you mentioned. I know there are really cool people that are vegan--I just haven't met any in real life (I've met some through writing this article).
As far as vegan debates, I do have a few tips. The first thing I make sure to do is always stay calm. Then I cut the topic short using one of a few methods I've found to work well over the last decade or so.
1) Just say you're not in really in the mood for that type of conversation right now, but maybe some other time. Then make sure that other time never comes.
2) Non-vegans can get their backs up because they may feel as if their morality is being questioned by our very existence. I have carefully constructed a sentence that makes it clear how I feel about that, while still avoiding the conversation: Being vegan is a personal choice for me, and it's not that big of a deal--I don't even think about it any more. If you want to eat meat, go ahead--it doesn't matter to me. Everyone has to find their own path in life and this is the one I find works for me. Now how about that.... (change subject here)
3) I'm not trying to be rude, but I just find this subject really boring. What I eat is actually a pretty small part of who I am, and I don't really find it that interesting of a conversational topic. Have you seen that new movie...(change the subject)
I strongly suggest NOT turning the question around on them. I understand the logic of that line of debate, but it will only make things worse (I did that one for a while as well, so I know). Just calm the waters and change the subject. Saying you're tired never hurts--the main thing is to just convey the feeling that's it's not a big deal to you, and that other topics are more interesting.
If you want to make sure you don't return back to the subject very often, use your own variation on method 2--it's the one that works best in my experience.
Thanks for reading and commenting. One of the interesting things about this article is that I've actually met quite a few cool vegans through writing it, and (surprise, surprise) all the really pissed off people I've run across were the exact type of vegans I like to avoid anyway.
This remains my favorite article--it's one of the funniest things I've ever read. And your fascist pig soy burger picture is Hilarious. You should make it into a shirt and market it. @Miles, I think you must be one of those vegans I wanna.. well, you know..
Love love love this article. I am also a vegan and I absolutely hate when people ask me 'why' and 'where do you get your protein' and 'if I gave you a million dollars would you eat _____ (insert meat product here)'. I will definitely be using some of these avoiding tecniques...
@Maddy- thank you very much.
I hate self-righteous vegans. I only like the live and let live vegans. Yes, I get the urge to punch obnoxious vegans like any other sane human being!
Man... you are tough on vegans! I know some very cool vegans.
By the way, I don't think there is anything wrong with telling people you are a vegan. For example, if offered meat, there is nothing wrong with saying "no thanks, I'm a vegetarian." You shouldnt have to make silly excuses.
i'd really like to share this with my brother through facebook. he recently became a vegetarian because of his wife and frankly i can't be around them anymore without wanting to punch them both. i've found that if we aren't talking about what they are or are not eating and what labels they're reading they have nothing to talk about. this is a case where i feel like i've lost my brother to a cult. we used to be friends. :/ i'm glad to know there are some of you out there who don't feel the need to overexplain (and "educate me" about) your choices as though i'm a horrible person for choosing to continue to eat meat. i don't walk around wearing shirts that advertise i'm a carnivore, but my sister in law buys shirts for her friends who become vegetarian like its part of some religion. its obnoxious and i hate it.
@rotl: I don't think there's anything wrong with telling people you're a vegan, but some of us just don't want to deal with all that comes with that process. It really depends on many factors though. If you live in California-no big deal. There are plenty of vegans and vegetarians and it's pretty accepted and normal there. I'm sure there are plenty of other places like that as well. But in lots of other places, it's just not worth the trouble. Telling someone you don't want meat because you're vegan/vegetarian opens up a can of worms that I simply have no interest in dealing with anymore. I have a feeling that once you've been a vegan for another few years you'll feel the same, but maybe not. This article wasn't intended to tell everyone how to live their lives, and I certainly have nothing against your open and forthright disclosure. Thanks for your opinion. :)
@Cori: Part of the reason I wrote this article is because I think there needs to be a lot more humor and lightness in the vegan world. People tend to take things very seriously in the vegetarian/vegan world, and it's understandable that they do, but I also think it's important for us to be able to laugh at ourselves and see the humor in things.
It's a tough change in lifestyle that requires quite a bit of sacrifice and commitment, as well as a feeling of being pitted against society at large to some extent. What your brother is going through is certainly a natural part of the vegan/vegetarian 'birthing' process--you probably don't have anything to worry about.
When I first became vegetarian I was the high-and-mighty type for a while as well, but looking back it was a defense mechanism based on my own fear of rejection from friends/family/society based on my choice to live such a different lifestyle. It's such a massive change that often for the first few years (yeah, sorry--years) it's easy to get WAY too into it and let the vegan/vegetarian issue dominate your life far too much to maintain a healthy balance.
After the honeymoon period though, many people see the flaw in their attitue of 'I did this so why don't you?' etc. and chill out. Other people unfortunately stick dogmatically to the holier-than-thou attitude forever. I don't think just linking this article to your brother will help your relationship problem all that much because he's likely to just reject this article at the stage of vegetarianism he's in now. Try having a talk with him and tell him as calmly as you can about your fears and concerns and see if you can meet eye to eye. It's obvious you love him, and that's the best thing you can bring to the discussion.
If you can't see eye to eye with him at this point, it's ok, time is your best friend. It's hard to be a self-righteous prick for more than a couple years--I know because I've tried(I'm not saying your brother is one--just an example from my own life). The best thing you can do is be supportive and understanding of the choice your brother and his wife have made, but set personal boundaries for how much abuse/contempt/evangelizing you're willing to put up with on the subject.
Veganism/vegetarianism is the shiny new toy for now, but soon enough it'll just be the status quo, and that's when you have a really good chance of getting your brother back.
@Cori: Also on the subject of VEGAN shirts, for a while I thought it was cool too, but then one day I thought about it and realized how hilariously boring it is to proclaim vegan/vegetarian status publicly via shirts, bumper stickers, etc.
It's a difficult thing to become vegan/vegetarian, and many people feel proud of their accomplishment. Then lots of them feel the need to brand themselves with their accomplishment. But in reality it's the equivalent of wearing a shirt that says: Jogger, Body Builder, Architect, or Cancer Survivor. Yeahyeahyeah, it's important to the person wearing it, but no one else cares. I'll tell you one thing though--if you want to get into some arguments with strangers about veganism/vegetarianism on a regular basis, a VEGAN shirt or MEAT IS MURDER shirt is really the way to go.
i'm a vegetarian and an on-and-off vegan and every vegan i've met i've wanted to punch SO hard in the face. they think they're god's gift and they're so much better than everyone else. i don't go around talking down to everyone that isn't vegan, like the ones i've met seem to do.
i love this article! thanks!!
@Anna--I know the feeling. I'm glad you liked my article. :)
Other than friends and family, I generally don't even mention that I am a vegan. The mere mention tends to lump me in with a group of people who are granolier than thou and sit around and fart all of the time because they've forgotten how to laugh.
Thanks for this article. I hate "the discussion" too and im trying to avoid it. Why can´t everybody just "live and let live"?
@ bodhi seed- I know the feeling, and I had to laugh at granolier than thou--that's a new one for me. :)
@Tanja Wanderlust- I think we'll eventually reach a point where veganism won't be considered any more bizarre than snowboarding, but until then let's just stay under the radar so we can keep our sanity.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments.
This article is so funny and true! I went through the holier than thou (granolier than thou!) phase to and now I'm like completely reversed. I'm definately going to use your ideas for getting out of *horrible* conversations that really get no where. I will have these conversations with people I know and trust if they ask me but they probably already know why anyways! Awsome article, one of the best articles I've ever read on being vegan or even vegetarian for that matter. Actually it is the best and I loooove the artwork! :)
@Marley- thanks so much for heaping so much praise on me, I truly appreciate it. I'm constantly amazed at how positive the reaction has been to this article that I never really thought anyone but me would care about.
I also went through a granolier than thou phase and am glad to be far from that attitude now. Congrats on making it out of that phase--it's a milestone for many of us.
so glad I found this article! It is exactly the advice I have been looking for!
@carey-- I'm happy you got something out of it. :)
Interesting and funny article. I don't get why one should be apologetic about it. I know, many vegans are annyoing, but if you are a vegan then you know it's ethically the right thing to do (unless you just do it for health reasons), it (unfortunately) follows that it would be good if you could influence others, kindly and respectfully of course, to move towards veganism. If it didn't, it also wouldn't follow from 'human rights' reasoning that we should try to convince China or Muslim theocracies to stop human rights violations.
@Lukas--I'm not apologetic; I just don't think my veganism is everyone's business or the most interesting aspect of who I am. I think it's very sad if someone uses a word like 'vegan' to sum up their entire being. I hope there's more to life than that.
As far as influencing others, I have no real interest in that. I don't feel it's my job to tell anyone else how to live. If you mean lead by example--the only true positive influence I've ever seen actually have impact--I already do that.
Thanks for reading the article.
Thank You so much for this great article. This is all I wanted to say but didn't how!
@heidy--you're very welcome. Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it.
I really wish more Vegans read your article. I've noticed, though, that a lot of the "fundie Vegans" (for lack of a better term) tend to take it farther than just believing their diet is superior.
After all, PETA and other animal liberation/animal rights groups (the ones who want to stop human interaction with animals COMPLETELY, including keeping pets) push Veganism very hard, and are the ones most likely to believe they're morally superior and that omnivores are "unwilling to admit it." I've seen that kind of statement turn up a LOT in Vegan sites; theherbivorehippi's comment from a few months ago is a perfect example.
Heck, I've had the displeasure of seeing that "Defensive Omnivore Bingo" that's been passed around. It's ironic that you've observed the "high and mighty" attitude many Vegans have as being a defense mechanism itself!
I just came across your post & thoroughly enjoyed it. I, too, am a vegan that dislikes most of my fellow vegans. I am a bit less selectve about sharing it though. There have a been a few too many times when well-intentiioned friends bought me a latte or baked cookies that I wouldn't eat. I'r rather not have them waste their time & money. Keep writing - I look forward to future posts
@passerby- Thanks for your response. It's great to know that this article keeps stirring the pot on an issue that concerns so many. My favorite thing about your response is that after reading it several times, I have no idea whether you're vegan or not. I like that.
@Tracy- Thanks for your response, I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I also used to be less selective about sharing the fact that I'm vegan which is WHY I don't like doing it anymore.
After 10+ years of the same rigamarole, I just got tired of having to talk to people about a subject that I think is personal and not really anyone else's concern (and pretty boring at this point).
I've had plenty of people offer me food I don't include in my diet, but I usually just find a non-disclosure way to get out of it. "I don't drink coffee" would be my response to someone who got me a latte (which is true). In the case of cookies I just accept them and then tell them that although I only eat organic fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, grains, and legumes--I know plenty of people who love cookies. At that point, they can either let me pass the cookies out to my friends and family, or take them back. Either way I still didn't have to tell them I'm vegan and spend the next hour defending or exlaining why I live the way I do.
That's me though--I value keeping my private life private more than the average person. I feel like we live in an overshare society and I have no interest in contributing to that. My life is an open book--after you unlock it. :)
Grokked :)
@ecoethicalvegan- Hehe :)
Here's the thing: vegan isn't a dietary choice. It's a lifestyle choice that's inextricably linked to the belief that it is morally wrong to exploit and murder animals. So why wouldn't you want to (in a polite way) explain that to people? It's funny that vegan apologists always point the finger at other vegans for their "deplorable" behavior, when if you are truly vegan, you ought to be far more offended by the behavior of those who aren't vegan.
My guess is that you aren't really vegan, Morgan, but on a vegan diet. If you are fully committed to the lifestyle for moral reasons, then shame on you for putting your head in the sand in order to be liked by everyone. Your "directions on how to be a likable vegan (and one not worthy of a punch in the mouth--nice!) are tantamount to saying, "hey, I think slavery/the holocaust/why have you is horrible an wrong, so I don't own slaves/join the nazis/what have you because you know, live and let live (or kill. Whatever.)
Punch away, if that's how you want to handle someone expressing their moral conviction that one of society's norm might be causing no end of torture an suffering for millions of animals every day. Sorry not to be able to see more "humor and lightness" in that reality.
Your comments about vegans sound like someone oblivious to the ethical reasons for people adopting a vegan lifestyle and the passion that drives those people to continue doing so through everything in the world that tells them that what they're doing is different, therefore wrong.
Hiding your veganism away like it's a dirty secret that you need to apologise for is nothing to be proud of and certainly not something you should be promoting. You're not a registered sex offender, you're someone who doesn't consume or exploit animals. I'm proud of you for being vegan for as long as you have and you should be showing yourself that pride as well.
There are ways of being diplomatic while still remaining true to your cause. Most of my friends aren't vegan and when the subject is touched on, I have to choose my words carefully so that my message doesn't lose any value without sounding like I'm personally attacking anyone, but at the end of the day, if you believe in your cause, then you accept that not everyone is going to like what you have to say. It's definitely disappointing that you've had some bad experiences with vegans and I hope that you meet some awesome vegans that don't come across in the way you have described. But given what I've just read, perhaps it's your own attitude that needs to be looked at, too.
Good luck on your journey.
I don't understand how you can "lead by example" if you don't disclose your Veganism? If people don't know that you are consciously abstaining from eating, wearing or exploiting animals, then how are you in any way leading by example?
I agree that some Vegans can be obnoxious and lack compassion. I avoid that, feeling that all people are deserving of compassion and understanding. Being cruel, rude or nasty to non-Vegans goes against my practice of Buddhism, which inspires me to strive to treat ALL beings with compassion (not that I always succeed, but I try!). However, I would never hide my Veganism, nor would I make up silly excuses for refusing animal products. I would say, "no thanks, I'm Vegan". If the person involved then questioned it on me, I would give them the facts poiltely and openly express my reasons for going Vegan.
You talk as if being Vegan is something to be ashamed of, or something to hide. This seems to come from your need to be liked and accepted, and an 'apologist' approach towards the commidification and suffering of animals. Exploiting animals is morally/ethically wrong, fact. There is no valid excuse other than tase, preference, tradition or convenience (non of which justify the suffering caused). Recognising and living that fact does not make you "high and mighty"- I'm not better than anybody else, but I'm not less either. I don't have to hide who I am or what I believe. Following your logic, as a non-racist living in a very racist area, I should not only refrain from challenging racism where I see it, but I should hide my non-racism and perhaps even through in the odd racist joke to cover my tracks!
Veganism is not ALL I am as a person, but Veganism, when understood correctly, is a large part of who I/you are. It is a lifestyle, a way of living, a way of being based on the strongly held conviction that it is unethical to cause unnecessary suffering to animals, and a stronlgy held desire to live a compassionate, non-violent life, causing as little harm as possible.
And for the record, I have a great sense of humour, just not when it comes to suffering and death. Oh and also, not that I think wanting to punch someone in the face because you disagree with and/or dislike them is very grown up, I think there are plenty who would feel a similar impulse in response to this silly, offensive article, tongue-in-cheek or not.
It seems kind of unfair to throw the rest of us vegans under the bus for you to seem more likeable. If you'd rather be an Uncle Tom to meat eaters instead of maybe using the moment as a dialogue, then that is your decision, but don't badmouth like-minded people. I don't refuse to call myself a feminist in situations where it wouldn't be polite, & any other ideal I believe in shouldn't have to be hidden when convenient.
Also, people love talking about food, especially meat-eaters in the presence of a vegan to get a rise out of you. Even if you aren't a scary terrorist vegan, they will go out of their way to vilify you so they can continue to bash all vegans.
I have a question. I love to cook, and I enjoy making foods of all sorts. Yes, I am an omnivore, but I also adore vegetarian and vegan foods. I also love making food for other people. I have lots of veggie and vegan friends, but sometimes I find that someone has arrived with a vegan/veggie friend I have not met before and thus have not considered before creating my menu.
What would you suggest to the Cook, here? (and I am being serious) I would never want any guest of mine to go hungry so I would really be interested in knowing what sort of foods I could make on short notice to accommodate them...other than a simple salad, which I guess, isn't all that bad really.
Thanks and I love your article.
Rock on dude wish I would have read your artical sooner and I would not have had to kill all my family and freiends and get new ones.
@Moon- Hi, I also love to cook and feed people. An easy thing that pretty much everyone loves that is really healthy and delicious and takes less than 5 minutes to make is guacamole. You could also make pico de gallo or a veggie dip with sour supreme as a base (vegan sour cream). Then all you need is some corn chips and/or vegetable slices for dipping and you're all set to go. It doesn't get much faster than that.
If you have a little more time, a quick stir fry with tempeh or tofu squares and pretty much any veggies is a good option. There are plenty of great vegan stir-fry sauce recipes out there to choose from. You can serve it alone or on a bed of basmati rice or quinoa.
Hummus and tahini are both great things to have around as well. Both of them are quick to make and have almost unlimited varieties (pesto hummus and garlic tahini being my favorites).
One last option is a quick taco salad. All you need are some refried pinto or black beans, lettuce, corn chips, salsa, olives, tomatoes, onions, and maybe a dollop of sour supreme to top it off.
Of course if you've got people more into the raw foods side of things (like me), guacamole, tahini, pico de gallo, and even just a simple piece of fruit are all great raw options.
I'm glad you enjoyed the article. :)
I agree that a lot of people are in your face about being vegan or vegetarian. My policy is if people don't ask, then why throw it in their face. Anyway, I liked the hub. Great job.
I have a confession to disclose. I was around a group of over weight friends who also had diebieties yesterday and I opened my big mouth and told them about my great diet how it can reverse diebieties and get them to the intended weight they should be. Now I feel guilty because it hurt some of their feelings which I did'nt intend to do. How do you handle a situation like this where it breaks your heart to watch your friends eat themselves to bad health and death and knowing that there is no way they will listen to you or even want to here about a solution that you living flesh in front of thier eyes proves results.
@Barrett- I know the feeling intimately well. My dad has type 2 diabetes and glaucoma and it's hard to hold my tongue sometimes. The best way I've found to deal with this situation is to just recommend they watch a documentary or two. Forks Over Knives, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 days, and Forbidden Cancer Cures are the ones I recommend that every person watch. Most of them don't at first, but eventually they all do watch at least one of them. It's a fine line between recommending and pushing and I think it's important to be laid-back about it and not push (I'll be the first to admit I've pushed too much myself sometimes).
After watching Forks Over Knives my mom cut out all dairy, limited her meat intake, and started on the pH balancing lifestyle. My sister and her boyfriend have just started on it as well and my friend is going to soon.
On the other hand, my dad--who REALLY needs to change what he's doing, has been the least willing to change anything or even research about the subject which bothers me daily. It's hard to know how easy it is to be healthy and not go nuts when people around you seem so passive about getting more and more unhealthy but believe me--being understanding, supportive, PATIENT, healthy, and optimistic are the best things you can do. I cured myself of chronic illness that lasted almost 6 years in a matter of a month by diet change and it took me a long time to realize that I can't push anyone I know and get good results. The only way is to look like the picture of vibrant health and hope they ask how/why you did it. Changes that are huge like going to a raw vegan diet are easiest taken in very small steps over a long period of time for most people, so if they ask for any help give them a series of small steps they can take instead of overwhelming them with massive changes.
If you can get them interested in watching one of the documentaries I mentioned it'll wake them up if it's possible to wake them up. Many people would literally rather die than stop living the way they're used to though, and you have to honor that choice if it's the one they want to make.
It's tough to watch people hurt themselves knowingly or unknowingly, but it's important to remember that each of us has to choose our own path in life and that every one of us makes choices that seem odd or even crazy to other people. Stay strong, stay healthy, be happy, and wait. If they ask, give them sincere answers from your heart and let them know you love them. If they don't ask, do your best to not give them unasked-for advice. If people see someone they know looking great (healthy/happy) all the time, eventually they're going to try to find out why. That's your opportunity.
If you get an opportunity where one of them asks you for info/help/advice/etc, it works much better to have one-on-one conversations so you lose the group dynamic and peer pressure aspects of the interaction. Also make sure you know what you're talking about. If you don't know all of the hows and whys of healthy living, do your own research first to make sure you have the answers if they do ask. I highly recommend The pH Miracle by Dr. Robert Young, Iodine: Why You Need It by Dr. David Brownstein, and The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton. Those 3 books will give anyone a very solid foundation on all aspects of health. Perhaps if any of your friends are readers you could recommend a book or two to them.
The hardest lesson in life for many of us is to truly love people for who they are right now instead of trying to tweak them into the best version of themselves that they could be (in our opinion). But it's a very valuable tool if you ever want to have a positive influence on anyone. Love them as they are, and hope they'll want to strive to be the best.
One last thing--offer them healthy treats like guacamole, salsa, dip and veggie sticks, etc. Even if they don't want them 100 times in a row, you never know if they'll say "ah, what the hell--I'll try it" the 101st time. I'm constantly amazed at how often I can get my friends and family to try something I never thought they'd be cool with. And often times they love it.
I sincerely wish I could give everyone on this planet the experience of knowing what it feels like to be detoxed and fully vibrantly healthy for just one day because it's addictive and if they knew what they were missing they'd do ANYTHING to get it back after that one day of total health.
Unfortunately that's not an option, so we have to just be as positive and supportive as we can without pushing. Then we wait. You never know when someone's going to go for it and decide to make a change, so be prepared for the opportunity with a list of small steps they can take that are easy to make but add up to a dramatic health change. The two tips I give for starting a healthy pH-balanced 80/20 raw/cooked vegan lifestyle is to just focus on water and salt.
1) Switch to alkalizing pH balanced water and try to drink at least 6 liters of water a day. It's easy to alkalize water by simply putting 1/4-1/2 teaspoons of aluminum-free baking soda in half a liter of water.
2) Stop using processed salt (including sea salt that has been processed and refined) and start using whole mineral salts like Real Salt and Celtic Sea Salt brands.
Those two steps are relatively easy and a great start on health. Then the next steps can be something like having one healthy raw alkaline meal a day like a salad. Then maybe a juice fast, etc.
If you don't like my suggestions, no problem--come up with your own based on your own knowledge and experience on the subject of health. Then when someone asks, you'll already have a plan for a few simple things they can implement that won't stress them out or overwhelm them and make them want to give up.
Good luck Barrett--I wish you well and hope your friends and family can unlock the power of their own abundant energetic vibrant health like you have. But in the meantime--just love them and support them as I'm sure you already do. Sometimes it's all we can do. Open hearts lead to open minds. :)
Great article! I eat meat and I totally agree with you. The fact is that we shouldn't feel godly just because of what we eat. That's it. Now, I want to share a beautiful song that goes "...Life feeds on life...".
Cheers from Colombia :D
@Juanch- I'm very familiar with a certain song by the band Tool that contains those lyrics. It used to bother me because even though I knew that idea seemed true to me, I couldn't figure out where it left me as a vegetarian (when I was 17 years old).
Then I realized that plants are alive too so of course vegetarians/vegans still live off of the life of other organisms. I choose to live off of organisms that have no nervous system and (as far as I know) can't feel pain, and you (and many others) don't make that distinction or don't care much about it. I tend not to focus on differences like that though--I prefer to focus on what we all have in common. We're all humans, we all want to have a good life full of happiness and love, and we all find our own path to travel in our individual attempts to reach happiness, love, and contribution.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your great response. And by the way--I love Colombia :)
Thanks Morgan for the good advice and the book references that I already have checked out. Taking a stand is taking a stand and when it involves taking critical feedback that is not a bad thing. I have learned a lot about life defending my views, and I’m thankful for the critical feedback from my friends and foe alike, from diet, emotional to spiritual and everything between. Keep up the good work.
Barrett Buckalew
I talk to my mum all the time about it because I don't want her to go the way her father did by eating loads of shit and clogging up her arteries. If I follow your advice, my mum would know nothing about veganism and neither would the people who I have introduced, infact if it wasnt for all the hard working (non fence-sitting) vegans out there, I might not be vegan myself so I thank them for getting all up in my face. I think somethings are worth putting your neck on the line for, especially when the person you are talking to is complaining about this health problem or that health problem whether they asked you to explain your philosophy (or proven science) or not. If you don't look out into the world around you and think 'boy, this needs changing' and you are not willing to have a go at introducing people to another way of thinking, I think that is pretty weak willed especially if it is just because you do not want to seem judgemental, if its just a dietary choice for you so be it, but for many it is much more than that.
@Jason- You don't seem to have actually read my article. I wrote in the very first paragraph that all my close friends and family members know I'm vegan. Never did I come close to suggesting anyone hide their vegan status from their family (how would it even be possible?). I'm glad that you took the time to leave me a comment, but I wish you would have taken the time to actually read my article first.
I listen to plenty of vegans all the time online who I have no wish at-all to punch in the face because they are eloquent, scientifically minded individuals who believe that people need to wake up. They lecture, they protest, they get angry and passionate and they challenge people and they create real change.
Hi Jason,
Good to hear from you and I appreciate your passion. I have a friend on life support right now that is brain dead. He has diabetes and has been fighting complications for 4 to 5 years now. I watched him eat donuts for breakfast with a soda to wash it down and had dinner with him and watched him eat cinnamon rolls by the handfuls. I talked with him plenty about diet and he is an intelligent person. I’m 5’7” and 51 years old 145 lbs. And can do the same activities that I did when 18 years old. I also would tell how I haven’t taken more than a couple of aspirins and have not been sick one time since I’ve been vegan (16 months).
We are all fighting to live the good life and some of us have the knowledge but don’t have the will. We all fight discouragement and other obstacles. I tried to talk to my friend plenty about changing his diet and he agreed but lacked the will to change. My Point is we must connect, encourage and love each other and accept them where they are. Change is never easy. Sometimes you have to love when it hurts.
Barrett
Oh I think Morgan has a great sense of humor and I can always use a good laugh. ;)
Just came across this article and it reflects my own experience which I also blogged about recently http://goingvegan.co.uk/vegans/
I have started to say to peple who need to know that I am a 'strict vegetarian'
as vegan is tainted by news stories of fanatics with malnourished kids!
Well done for you 10 years. I am only on year 2.
Liz
@new vegan AKA Liz- Well, unfortunately most of the nice open-minded vegans are fairly quiet compared to the raving lunatic vegans. Because of that, we encounter the rabid nasty vegans a lot more often than the large group of them that are more like us but just don't feel the need to shout it from the rooftops.
I read your blog post and enjoyed it btw. A bit short, but then again it's a blog post not an article. Anyway, welcome aboard Liz--it'll be a shaky ride sometimes, but being a vegan has deep rewards and I welcome you to the party.
I thank you for your article.
As a budgetarian I've been known to eat a wide variety of cheap and/or expired delicacies from across the dietary spectrum. For me the organic and vegan markets are always a risky venture. On one hand I can score some great clearance food to suppliment my diet of vitamin tablets and water. On the other I need to deal with the incestant drivle that seeps out of these people's mouths every waking hour of their lives. I've actually found myself using your exact same guidelines as a scavanger amongst vegans, not ashamed of my dietary choices but far too lazy to get into a conversation on the subject.
I choose to eat cheap food because I like money. Omnivores and vegans choose to eat food for their own reasons. Food is too trivial a topic to expend precious time on on a daily basis. A good, loud argument is fun once in a while but requires the proper atmosphere.
But I digress, great article. Thanks again.
@Jake-- Haha! You're coming from an interesting angle on the subject of food. I've never heard of a budgetarian before but I certainly find the idea interesting. I'm glad you liked my article and good luck to you in your scavenging endeavors.
Anonymous from 3 months ago (as of this post) is the kind of Vegan many of us would like to punch in the mouth. What a Holy Roller. After his/her big speech about being so proud of the ethical choice he/she made and the torture everyone else who isn't Vegan causes, I am amazed that he/she decided to post as Anonymous.
Thank you for publishing this hub! It was great: funny and helpful.
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Robin 2 years ago
It's not just vegans and vegetarians that have become tedious in their need to "tell all"; do we need to know where you stand on politics and religion? So many people these days feel obligated to define themselves by one thing. What's wrong with just being a complete person and letting others discover who you are---like in the old-timey days.
Anyway this is funnily put and well-written and, yes, it's about time vegans lightened-up.
Robin